Episode 63: Learning to Let

We hear a lot about learning to let go. Let go of the past, expectations, things we can’t control, and whatever else might be holding us back. But recently, while listening to Kathleen Cameron on the Manifested podcast, I heard an idea that made me consider something different.

Learning to let.

Not what we need to release from our lives, but what we’re willing to allow ourselves to experience. I love that distinction because it opens up an entirely different conversation about the possibilities we might be overlooking.

Think about how often we talk ourselves out of things before we’ve even given them a chance. We decide we’re too old, too busy, not experienced enough, or that the timing just isn’t right. Sometimes those concerns are perfectly reasonable. Other times, they’re limitations we’ve created without even realizing it.

And I wonder how many experiences we’ve missed because we never let ourselves explore the possibilities.

What if the biggest thing standing between us and a new experience is simply our willingness to try?

Let Yourself Try

When was the last time you tried something simply because you were curious? Not because you needed to be good at it, turn it into a business, or accomplish something impressive. Just because you wanted to see what it was like.

As adults, I think we sometimes forget how to be beginners. We get comfortable doing things we know we’re good at and become hesitant to venture into unfamiliar territory. We want to feel prepared, understand what we’re getting into, and preferably have some assurance that we’ll succeed. But everything we know how to do today was something we once had to learn.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book, learn an instrument, take up a sport, or travel somewhere new. You don’t have to know exactly how it’s going to turn out before you begin. Let yourself explore the idea, ask questions, and see where your curiosity takes you.

You might discover something you absolutely love. And if you don’t? Well, at least you gave it a try!

We don’t have to be good at something to let ourselves enjoy learning how to do it.

Let Yourself Change

Think about the person you were ten years ago. Are you interested in all the same things? Do you have the same goals? Do you see the world the same way?

I certainly don’t, and I’m glad!

Our experiences change us. We meet people who introduce us to new perspectives, discover interests we never expected, and sometimes realize that things we once wanted no longer excite us. Yet we can be surprisingly resistant to allowing ourselves to change. We become attached to our routines, our identities, and even other people’s expectations of who we should be.

But who says we have to remain the same?

I love the idea that there are still so many things I haven’t discovered about myself. At 45, I certainly hope I’m not finished learning, growing, and finding new things that excite me. I want to look back ten years from now and recognize how much I’ve experienced and how those experiences have shaped me.

There’s something wonderful about knowing we haven’t discovered everything we’re capable of becoming.

The person you’ve always been doesn’t have to be the person you always will be.

Let Yourself Enjoy What You’ve Accomplished

This one hits particularly close to home for me.

I love creating things. Give me an idea, and my mind immediately starts figuring out how to make it happen. I enjoy the planning, the work, and watching something that began as a thought become real. But I’ve noticed how quickly I can move from one accomplishment to the next. Something works out, and instead of taking time to enjoy it, I’m already thinking about what else I could do.

And the funny thing is, nobody is making me do that!

I genuinely love having goals and projects. I don’t want to change that part of myself. But I do want to get better at appreciating what I’ve already created and recognizing the effort that went into making something happen.

Think about how much time we spend working toward something we want. A promotion, a new home, a personal milestone, or an experience we’ve spent years planning. Then we finally get there, and instead of enjoying it, we’re already worrying about what comes next.

There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious. I think ambition is wonderful, especially when we’re pursuing things that genuinely excite us. But I also think we deserve to enjoy the experiences and accomplishments that come from all that hard work.

Let yourself enjoy what you’ve worked so hard to achieve before rushing toward whatever comes next.

Let Yourself Experience Life

How many things are sitting on your someday list? Someday you’ll take that trip. Someday you’ll learn something new. Someday you’ll spend more time doing the things you enjoy.

I’m a big believer in having goals and planning for the future. But I also recognize how easily someday can become a moving target. There’s always another responsibility, another expense, or something that needs our attention. And while we can’t ignore those realities, we can ask ourselves whether we’re making room for the experiences we genuinely want to have.

I want to travel, explore new places, play golf in places I’ve never been, and continue discovering what life has to offer. Those are things that genuinely excite me, and I love imagining the experiences still ahead.

But I also want to enjoy the ordinary days. The conversations, the laughter, and the time spent with people I love. I want to have interests that don’t need to become projects and enjoy activities without worrying about whether I’m particularly good at them.

Not every experience needs to be productive or lead to something bigger. Sometimes we can do something simply because it makes us happy.

We spend so much time planning for the life we want. Let’s make sure we’re enjoying the life we’re living, too.

Let Yourself Be Surprised

Now, I love a good plan. When I get excited about something, I can have the entire thing mapped out in my head before I’ve even started! I love figuring things out and having something to work toward, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

But some of the most interesting opportunities in life are the ones we never thought to plan. An unexpected conversation, an invitation we almost turned down, or an idea that takes us somewhere completely different can introduce us to possibilities we never considered.

And that’s another part of learning to let that I find so interesting.

We can have goals, work toward them, and still be open to discovering something new along the way. Maybe we find an opportunity that excites us. Maybe we change our minds about something we thought we wanted. Or maybe we try something and realize it’s not for us.

That’s okay, too!

Learning to let doesn’t mean giving up our ambitions or abandoning the things we’re working toward. It means recognizing that we don’t have to know exactly how everything is going to turn out before we let ourselves experience it.

We can have a plan for our lives and still leave room for possibilities we haven’t imagined yet.

What Are You Ready to Let Yourself Do?

In last week’s episode of the Motivated Savages Podcast, I explored the idea of ownership and taking responsibility for the choices we make. Learning to let feels like a natural continuation of that conversation because recognizing that we have the ability to create change in our lives is one thing. Actually letting ourselves experience those changes is another.

What I love about this idea is that it encourages us to consider all the things we might be holding ourselves back from experiencing. Sometimes we’re so focused on what we need to accomplish, what we should be doing, or what comes next that we forget to ask ourselves what we genuinely want to try.

And sometimes, we’re the ones standing in our own way.

Maybe there’s something you’ve always been curious about but haven’t explored. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about what you want and haven’t quite accepted it yet. Or maybe you’ve accomplished something wonderful and haven’t taken the time to appreciate it.

Whatever it is, I hope you’ll give yourself the opportunity to explore what might be possible.

What are you ready to let yourself do?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What does learning to let mean to you, and what might you discover if you stopped talking yourself out of something you’ve always wanted to experience?

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